Those Guys We Forgot About?
by Doppler Effect
Summary: After a review of what happened after the  unpublished  chapter about RTI in Stormbreaker, Alex is called back to Breacon Beacons to the despair of the K-Unit. Due to a request for a new teacher on terrorist organizations, MI6 sends their specialist in.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: I had no idea where you all were getting the RTI thing from until my sister showed me that chapter. ((teamforce. wikispaces file/ view/ Alex+Rider+Adventure-Stormbreaker+Chapter- RTI. pdf)- You can find it there.) Well. The first part of this is what happened afterwards. (Or what I think would've happened.)

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><p>The only five present units had been gathered outside one of the farm buildings. After word had been sent out that the Green Jackets had left, the sergeant had immediately pulled them all together to rant. And he did not look happy.<p>

"Does somebody want to tell me what happened?" he growled.

'_Not really,'_ Alex thought to himself.

"They were scheduled to be here for another week, and suddenly they decide to just up and leave. And for whatever reason_ no one can get a hold of them._" The sergeant glared at them all, but Alex thought he could see the smallest hint of amusement in his gaze. Then the sergeant looked at him, and it was gone.

The K-Unit took flickering glances at him, also trying to figure out what had happened. Alex hadn't told them what he'd done before releasing them and the other units. Unfortunately, the sergeant saw those looks. "Cub! What do you know?"

He shifted slightly. "I think they might be that way… sir…" He gestured towards where he'd last seen the Green Jackets.

"There's a cliff over there!"

"Yeah…"

"And, pray tell, what stupid idea in your head thought they might decide to go bungee jumping off a cliff when they had work to be doing?"

"The same idea that told me that someone might've, um, decided to give them a hand." The sergeant stared at him. "You know, since a car's supposed to move, somebody might've decided to release their parking brake… And they might've not realized it was moving, so…"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Now, how the hell did you all get the locks open off those doors?"

The other units pointed at K-Unit.

The sergeant turned to them. "And how did _you_ get the locks off of everybody's doors?"

The K-Unit pointed at Alex.

"Alright, Cub. How'd you do it? Maybe the rest of you can learn something."

Alex pulled a pin out of his pocket.

"Where the hell did you get that from?"

"Parking brake, sir."

By then, everyone was staring at him. Alex kept his face impassive, and resisted the urge to smirk. "And another 'stupid idea', sir? If the Green Jackets were following my 'stupid idea', then they would probably need some medical help right around now."

Two angry Green Jackets stomped up towards the group. The sergeant rounded on them. "Where've you been?" he shouted angrily.

"Some dumbass let the parking brake loose!" one of the Green Jackets yelled back.

Alex pocketed the pin quickly.

"Really? Everyone was still in their cells when I got here! Care to explain why someone locked themselves back inside their cell after letting the parking brake loose?" the sergeant demanded. None of the units let any hints of surprise out, even though everyone had been out of their cells when the sergeant had shown up.

The Green Jackets struggled to come up with something.

"I'll be reporting this stupid behavior to your superiors! You'll be lucky if you're not binned!" the sergeant fumed.

"Um, sir? We've got four injured members down by the cliffs. They need immediate medical attention," the second Green Jacket mumbled.

"What?" the sergeant demanded, wanting it said louder. The Green Jacket repeated it louder. Satisfied at the level, the sergeant sent out three of the FFSAS teams to help retrieve them. All three teams had smirking members. The Green Jackets looked on nervously, but couldn't say anything about it.

The sergeant whirled on K-Unit as soon as the others had left. "How did you manage that?" he asked, no longer yelling.

Alex didn't speak, willing to let the unit do the talking. The answer they gave shocked him.

Wolf gestured at Alex. "Cub came up with the idea." The sergeant raised a doubtful eyebrow.

Eagle piped up next. "It was all his plan." Snake and Fox nodded in agreement.

The sergeant's other eyebrow joined the first. "And the rest of you decided to join him in throwing six Green Jackets off a cliff?"

"No!" all four yelled at once, quickly backtracking.

"No, sir, getting out of the cell. We didn't know the Green Jackets were, uh, amiss until later," Wolf quickly said.

"You had no idea Cub was planning to throw them off a cliff?" They all shook their heads. "And what do you have to say about that, Cub?"

"I wasn't planning to throw them off, sir. But if I broke open the locks, it'd make a lot of noise. And the Green Jackets looked like they needed some help with their car, so I figured in payment they'd just, ah, let this slide," Cub said innocently.

They were dismissed. As they left, they could've sworn they heard a faint chuckle.

* * *

><p><em>Two years later…<em>

"Oh God."

Snake's voice made them the other three in his unit look up.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" he spaced out, dread seeping into his voice. The others swiveled around to see who he was looking at and speaking to.

Cub was standing at the door, bag slung over his shoulder, surveying them all. "Um, hi. You got stuck with me again. Sorry. Not my idea. Take it out on and kill someone else. Like the person who sent me here. I don't like him either."

"The last time you were here you nearly got us all binned!" Eagle exclaimed.

"And you lit the obstacle course on fire! Which I didn't even think was possible until now," Fox added, muttering the last part under his breath.

"You kicked me out of a plane!" Wolf yelled, continuing the complaints.

"And you lost my torch!" Snake finished.

Cub sighed, one of defeat. He could tell that this was going to be a lot like last time. "Look, as for the whole 'nearly getting you binned' thing, it was your fault for phrasing it wrong about your assistance in the Green Jackets' unexpected departure. And for the obstacle course-which was totally an accident, by the way-, just think of it this way! I could've lit the mess hall on fire too!"

"You did!" all four shouted at him.

"Oh. Right. So I did. But that was only because a flaming part of the course caught it on fire, so it wasn't really my fault. Well, you didn't have to run the obstacle course for another week, did you? So it was a good thing!" Cub continued, ignoring the mess hall.

"That's because we were rebuilding it!" Fox protested.

"At least you weren't running it!" Cub replied with cheer. "Wolf, as for the whole plane thing, well… you were supposed to jump or be binned, and you jumped!"

"No I didn't! You kicked me!"

"Well, they're a little fuzzy on the jumping part, aren't they? The point is, you got out of the plane and landed." He paused. "He did land, right?" he asked the other three.

"On Eagle," Snake said, suppressing a smile. Eagle groaned, and fell backwards on his bed.

_Eagle wrapped up his parachute to prevent it from dragging him away if the wind picked up. "I survived!" he shouted to the world, producing much eye rolling from observers. He struck a pose, and punctuated it with a "Yeah!"_

_Wolf fell with a thud on top of him, producing a yelp from Eagle._

Cub shrugged. "That's landing. I guess. As I said, fuzzy on the landing."

"And my torch?" Snake tapped his fingers on his arm irritably.

"You could've stayed in the cell," Alex pointed out. Snake nodded, finding no response to that. "Besides, setting all that aside, I got out of your hair, didn't I? So would all of you mind, like, not trying to kill me this time?"

Eagle grinned, and said in a tone that didn't agree with the words, "Sure!"

Alex jerked a thumb at the bird-named man and asked, "What's up with him?"

"Last time they dared me to two weeks without speaking. Unfortunately for you, they timed it badly so I never got to speak to you," Eagle replied. "Damn bastards, the lot of them." Snake swatted him.

"What're you doing here this time?" Wolf sighed, obviously not happy about having to do this again.

Alex nodded with a grin threatening to burst. "Teaching."

The K-Unit stared at him.

"What?" Fox asked, wishing for a clarification that had not just been said.

"I am going to be teaching you lot, and the other units here." Stunned looks met his gaze. "Yeah. Don't worry, it's only going to be for a few days. But I get stuck with you because my damn superiors decided that I needed a refresher course."

Snake sighed. "There's nothing we can do about it, then. Dump your stuff on the other bed. Don't expect a warm welcome from the other units."

"Wasn't wanting one," Alex responded. "What do we have first?"

As he turned to drop his bag on the only empty bed, the K-Unit exchanged expressions of horror and grief about the following days.

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><p>an: Sooo? What did you think? (And do you want me to write a few chapters on the teaching thing? I want at least six people to say yes!)


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: Uh... I think that was about six people who said yes... *glances at the number of reviews* Yeah, that's about six, don't you think? This chapter was posted because we had this thing called Spirit Day today (sorta like a pep rally for eight hours), but sadly I, ah, got a case of the, erm, bubonic plague and had to miss school. Too bad, so sad.

You'll be seeing the Green Jackets again later. Keep an eye out for the poor bastards. ^^ They are in for much more shit than last time, I'll say that much. Mwahahaha. *thunder* *lightning* *more evil laughter*

I don't own Alex Rider. I might've forgotten to mention that in the first chapter...

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><p>K-Unit woke up to the sound of something hitting their roof. Wolf sat up in bed, angrily, and shouted, "Eagle!"<p>

"What?" an irritated voice near him responded. "I'm not deaf!"

Wolf paused. "That's not you...?"

"No! Why would I pelt my own cabin?"

Snake broke it up. "Come on, let's go kill whoever it is." His feet hit the floor, and he padded to the door. As soon as he opened it, someone ran into him. "Woah! What're you doing here, Jackal?"

"Ah! There you are. Did you guys dump water all over the stoves in the kitchen?" the man asked. Behind him, someone ran furiously towards the latrines. "And dump tear gas in F-Unit's cabin?"

Eagle peered over Snake's shoulder. "None of us. Listen." The thudding on the roof was still continuing. "What the hell is that?" Jackal shrugged, and stepped back a bit. He grabbed the edge of the roof, and Snake moved forward and pushed his feet up and over. His heavy footsteps joined the barrage against their roof.

The rest of the unit went outside to see if Jackal was having any luck finding the source of the sound. They waited for a few seconds, and then the light thumping stopped. "What was it?" Fox called up, not knowing where the man was since he'd disappeared from sight.

"I don't know," the bodiless voice responded. "Looks like small stones."

"Where were they coming from? Can you see who threw them?" Wolf asked.

"Nah. Looks like someone used some sort of sling to get them this far. They must not want to hit me while I'm up-Woah!" The four on the ground stared, dumbfounded, as a chicken flew over the edge of the roof and their heads. "What the hell?" Jackal yelled, recovering from his yelp.

The chicken landed clumsily on the ground, squawked, fumbled to its feet, bit Eagle's leg, and stalked away. Other than Eagle quickly smacking it away from his leg when it bit him, none of them paid it any heed, deciding that it was a hallucination. "Did someone throw a chicken?" Snake called up, befuddled.

"Yeah…" Another yelp. "Hey! I'm walking here!" he shouted to no one they could see. Footsteps walked towards them, and Jackal came into view as he swung down from their roof. He shrugged at them. "I got no idea who's doing it. Probably whoever's doing the rest of these pranks. They'll be getting binned, I expect. Come on, the rest of us are gathering to find out what's going on."

"Let me just grab my bag in case one of these goes too far," Snake said, holding up a finger to tell them to wait. He turned towards their cabin just as it collapsed as something heavier hit it. K-Unit and Jackal gaped at it as the dirt and dust swirled around the chaos.

"Uh…" Eagle said.

"What the…" Wolf tried.

"The hell…?" Fox trailed off.

"How…?" Snake walked towards the carnage. "What the hell!" He pointed at something. The rest of them joined him, and looked where he was pointing.

They all stared at it. Then at each other. Then back to it. And then, with a completely straight face, Jackal said: "Guess we'll be having beef, eh?"

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><p>"Hey, 'bout time you returned!" Badger called as the group trooped up to him. "We've eliminated the other three units here, meaning it was none of us. There's no one missing, so there's no one who's left to pull these pranks. Basically, we've got no idea who's doing this. Any idea from your end?"<p>

Shakes of the head. As Badger and Jackal moved away to converse with their group, Eagle muttered to the rest of the group, "We know who it is, don't we?" The others nodded. "Oh God… This is called revenge, isn't it?"

"We're going to die," Fox muttered.

"Okay, let's try to find him and get him to stop," Wolf said, reminding them that they were admitting defeat to a kid.

"Wait," Eagle said. "Maybe we shouldn't."

Snake gestured to the chicken that was still running around. It bit Eagle again for good measure.

"Ow! I mean, he said he was here to teach, didn't he? So, shouldn't we act like this is an exercise?" Eagle pointed out, kicking the chicken. It gave an angry squawk. "Besides, there are so many places he could be, we'll never find him if we look. Also, he looks like he's out for blood…" There was a shout from somewhere in the camp. "Yep, out for blood."

Wolf nodded grimly. "Eagle's right. Anyone got any ideas on what we do from here to prevent decapitation?"

Ponderous moments of silence ensued for a minute. "Well…" Fox broke off, and shook his head. "Nah."

Snake made a sound like he was about to speak, then stopped. "Never mind."

Eagle raised a hand like he was about to make a point. "Actually, that wouldn't work. How do you fight an enemy when you don't where they are?"

Wolf started walking. Confused, the others followed him. "Hey, where are we going? Eagle asked. "Hello? Are you paying attention? Did you go brain dead-ow! That would be a no." He rubbed his arm where Wolf punched it.

They walked to the edge of the open area most of the buildings were set in, and kept going into the trees. None of them spoke. Finally, when they were twenty minutes in, Wolf pulled them a halt. "To answer your question, Eagle, you fight an enemy who's position you don't know by not letting them know where you are."

"You could've just said that instead of building the drama by taking us on some hike in the woods," Eagle grumbled. Fox rolled his eyes. "Okay, so now what do we do, wise leader?"

"Seek higher ground is what would be the norm. However, the camp's at the highest spot anywhere nearby that would be of help, which means we can't use them. This is counteracted by the mountain that's almost impossible to climb up, but we can't get up there."

"Wait a minute," Snake said, an idea coming to form. "We couldn't get up through the paths of the mountain because it was too thick and we were too big." Wolf nodded his head upwards in understanding. Eagle and Fox still weren't catching on. "But Cub's half our size. He wouldn't have any problem with that."

"And to get a cow on our cabin roof, you'd have to drop it from above or use a catapult. Or both," Fox said.

They all turned to look at the nearby peak.

"So..." Eagle began. "What do we do now that we know it? We still can't climb up there."

"We can't tell the other units or Cub will figure out what we're up to," Snake noted. "But we need a way up there if we want this to stop."

"What if we just patrolled the areas we _can_ get to. He might come down to deliver chaos by his own hands instead of just dropping it," Fox suggested.

Wolf nodded. "We'll try that. While we are, Eagle..."

A twang came from above their heads, and all of them instinctively looked up warily. Another, louder, twang, and then an elastic looped rope slapped down from the treetops. The four of them hit the ground, trying to dodge it. It continued dropping, landing on the ground for a split second, and then shot back up, snagging on Fox's arm. With a shout, he disappeared.

"Fox!" Wolf shouted, jumping up to grab him as he flew past. The other two leaped up, snatching at air as they scrambled to catch their friend. "Hey!"

But he was gone. There were sounds of something hitting something hard, like a body slamming into tree trunks and branches.

"Son of a bitch," Snake swore. He, Eagle, and Wolf all exchanged glances.

"_CUB!_"

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><p>Hearing the shout, Alex smiled, amused. He winced, however, when he heard the smacks of Fox hitting branches as he came closer. Leaning over the branch of the tree, he reached out an arm as Fox shot past him with a surprised shout. As he reached the peak of his ark and fell back down to earth, Alex snagged his jacket and pulled him to a halt. Fox's arm bolted up, grabbing a hold of Alex's. He in turn reinforced his hold with his other hand, and Fox reached for a nearby branch. Between the two, they hauled Fox onto the hefty branch Fox was holding on to.<p>

A few seconds later, and a panting Fox turned to Alex. "What. The. _Hell_ got into you?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "You shot a cow onto our _roof_! Where did you get it and the chicken from anyway?"

The teen smirked. "That is a question you will never know the answer to. Now, before you complain about-"

"About you _kidnapping_ me by dragging me through twenty _branches_?"

"Didn't I just say to wait? Besides, I thought I heard a trunk in there, too." Fox stared at him. "Maybe not the best helpful statement. Just think of it this way. By pulling you out now, you're getting it off easy."

"Really?" Doubt wasn't hidden in his tone. "Easy? Easy as branch, trunk, branch?" he said, badly timing it to the song 'Easy as 1, 2, 3'.

"Yes." An evil grin crossed the teen's face. "I have a lot worse planned for everyone else."

Fox lifted the elastic loop that had wrapped around his arm. He shook it. "What's with this?"

"Made it out of some items I found lying around the place. Been using it to get through these trees. Hopping up and down from limb to limb. It's how I got up to that peak up there, that you and the others deduced I was using. You just forgot that there's a sheer cliff on every side of it. The peak's also too small to land anything on, though, so that's why they weren't worried about anyone dropping in from a helicopter or a parachute. There's not enough room. And you have no idea how hard it was to get a cow up there...*"

Fox shook his head. "Okay, so what's your plan here? What are you doing?"

Alex cocked his head. "I'm using common Scorpia tactics, actually."

"Scorpia flings livestock at unsuspecting victims. Mystery solved. It's no wonder they're a feared organization."

"No, picking people off and splitting them up. Preventing intelligence from flowing. Spreading discord and mayhem. I'm using different methods than they use, but the effect is the same. By the end of the week-"

"The _week_? Are you trying to kill us?"

Alex continued like he hadn't been interrupted. "-you will all have learned some valuable lessons that I will delve deeper into during class. And I won't have to deal with beating some sense into you guys anymore to get you all to listen to me."

Fox didn't bother protesting that they would listen. "Someone's going to get hurt. And the sergeant's going to kill you."

Alex laughed. "You kidding? The sergeant's in on it! He said it'd be a great idea. You all have medics, anyone who gets hurt can be patched up. Any injuries won't be life threatening ones, I assure you."

"You dragged me through _tree branches_. If my _neck_ had hit one of those at that speed, I would be dead!" Alex gave an exasperated sigh, as if tired of explaining his point to a five year old. "Don't sigh at me! And why'd you pull me up here anyway?"

Alex clapped his hands together mockingly. "Finally, the questions I want to be hearing! I need an accomplice."

It took Fox a second to realize he meant him, and wasn't saying he needed an accomplice in his work. "No," he deadpanned. "I will not help you tear this camp apart!"

"We won't be tearing it apart! In class, we'll go over everything you guys messed up on, and we'll rebuild the camp. It'll be fine! Trust me." Fox gave him a look. "We're not off to a good start, Grasshopper," he said, like telling a child they'd done something wrong.

"Grasshopper? What the-"

"It's this or I knock you out and stick you in this tree until the week ends."

"...Promise not to give our unit the brunt of the attack?"

"Promise. Remember, Wolf knows I'm responsible. I don't want to die."

"...Fine."

Alex beamed. "You won't regret this."

"I already do."

"Okay. Now why do you need an accomplice?"

"Because some things I can't do on my own, because I'm too short or whatever. So, I need someone who can. And the sergeant requested I had someone with me who would make sure I wouldn't go overboard on the teaching."

Fox raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why would he ever think that?"

"Don't be an ass."

"And you aren't?"

"I'm allowed to be. Now, let's get to the catapult and start flinging that cow's crap at C-Unit's cabin."

A glimmer entered Fox's eyes. "C-Unit?"

"Uh huh." He cocked his head at his new partner in crime.

"Heh." At Cub's expression, he explained, "Eagle was a new recruit when he joined our unit. Our original member got a bad shot in the leg, and had to be replaced. Eagle stepped up to the plate. At the time, we were stationed in Afghanistan with C-Unit. Eagle made a rookie mistake, got us in a bit of a scrape with some locals, but everything turned out okay. C-Unit's given him a hard time ever since. We've never worked with them again in the field, but occasionally we get stuck together in training exercises."

Cub smiled. "Well. Now's your time for revenge, eh?"

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><p>an: *He got it up there the same way Gibbs (from _NCIS_) gets his boat out of his basement.

Someone asked a question, and I think I should clear that up. This is an AU, where Fox didn't leave the FFSAS. (You were right, whoever you were.) I got flooded with so many responses so fast, I couldn't respond to you all. But it was awesome to get such a response! Thank you, everyone who reviewed! You made my day(s).


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: These chapters will be shorter so I can post faster. Did I mention that last chapter? Whatever, I did now. And while _these_ updates might not seem faster, I'm writing a story on Takanami's account too, so it balances out.

I do not own Alex Rider. Why do I have to say this? You know you're on a site that ingeniously is called FANfiction, right?

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><p>Wolf, Eagle, and Snake snuck back into camp, not wanting to disturb the rally that was going on in the center of all the cabins. C-Unit's leader, Badger, was trying to get everyone as excited as possible before searching for whoever was behind the pranks and putting an end to it.<p>

As the excitement started to die down so that Badger's next words could be heard, Snake murmured to Wolf, "Should we tell them, or let it slide? He's going to get what he wants anyway, but-"

"Who's going to get what he wants?" Leopard of C-Unit said behind him. Snake gritted his teeth in annoyance, and turned around to face the nuisance with the other two. The smirking man continued, "If I didn't know any better, I would think you were with-holding useful information from the way you're talking."

"More like with holding information that is likely to get everyone here traumatized for life if it's known," Eagle shot back.

By then, everyone had stopped and was listening in.

Leopard let out a bark of laughter. "Oh if it's hard for you, the rest of us can easily hand-" His words choked off, and he fell backwards with a pained expression.

"Leopard!" Badger shouted, jumping down from the makeshift stand he'd been on.

A sharp whistle punctured the air. "Oi!" Looking around for the source, Wolf scanned the area behind where they'd been standing. A movement caught his eye. Standing on the roof of B-Unit, Cub was cockily smirking and standing with one leg on the peak and the other behind behind it, gun hanging at his side. "Don't worry, wimp. That was a blank. Which all of you should have immediately noticed. Elite? I'm sure." Growls immediately broke out from across the area. "Don't give me that! Now, as K-Unit was kindly telling you, it would be best for you to _not_ rally together. If you hadn't caught my clear warning of kidnapping your teammate, that would've just been sad."

"Who the hell are you?" Badger shouted up at him.

Cub's smirk only grew. "I'm K-Unit's unfortunate fifth member, dumped here by the wonderful MI6 because they decided you lot needed a teacher for Scorpia methods, since your last one turned out to be an actual member who tried to massacre everyone. Anyway, I'll be grading you on your works as a _team_ effort, not a _camp_ effort. If you don't want to get maimed and beaten during this exercise, I'd split up. None of your teams are allowed to help each other, either."

There was a moment of silence in which all of them stared at him. He raised a challenging eyebrow.

"What kind of bullshit is that?" Badger finally demanded.

"Where the hell's Fox?" Wolf yelled, ignoring the other since he really didn't want to know.

"The bullshit you better listen to if you don't want your ass kicked, and he's fine. It's not like I'm going to tell you where he is," Cub responded. He turned on his heel, and jerked his gun over his head in a short goodbye wave. "See ya around!"

Immediately, half the group broke off to beat the crap out of him when he came down from the building. They returned a few seconds later, pissed and empty-handed.

Jackal sighed, and rubbed his head with one hand. "Alright, I guess we better go along with what the kid says. He managed to pull the previous pranks without any of us being able to stop him, and I don't doubt he can continue. Also, he said he was here as a teacher. The sergeant will have our asses if we don't go along with what he says. Keep your heads, everyone." Jackal walked away from the group, and his unit split off with him to start whispering ideas.

Grimacing, Warrigal* led his own unit away without a word. Wolf followed suit, and Terradactyl** made a sharp hand movement at half the remaining men before departing to their cabin. The men followed him, leaving a furious C-Unit on their own.

* * *

><p>"This is really useful," Fox said, hefting the rubber. Alex nodded in agreement. "Where'd you get this from, again? I have high doubts you made this by now."<p>

He got a grin in response. "Friend." Fox eyed him. "He wasn't supposed to hand it off, but he knew I'd be doing some teaching with you all and figured I'd like something I could use to make a quick escape from, say, angry FFSAS men."

"Smart guy."

"Yup."

"So what now?"

"Well..." Alex thought for a second. "We've kidnapped you from K-Unit and done a bunch of other crap to them, and they were the first to solve the problem so we'll go easy on them for a day or two. Maybe a prank here and there, but nothing major. I put tear gas in F-Unit's cabin, which I raided from a building on the compound," he said seeing the question arise in the other's eyes. "While we're on the topic, remind me to lecture them about their reaction. You do _not_rub it in! Although I think Terradactyl was doing enough of that when he realized what his teammates were doing. He's a smart leader. Anyway, they also misplaced their clothing and supplies somewhere on the mountain.***

"B-Unit's cabin is in the same state as yours, and if they're smart both units will be repairing that." He stared pointedly at Fox for a second, before the man caught on and lifted the binoculars he'd snitched from one of the supplies buildings. He turned towards the cabins and searched for a few seconds, before nodding.

"Yup, they're repairing those right now. Looks like they're also discussing ideas while they're at it."

"B-Unit is also going to be developing a case of the cold soon. I spread some bacteria in their window panes and on their pillows, both of which they were around long enough to get the cold from. I hope I don't need to explain that I got the bacteria from the cold I had a little while back, right? Good. Now, with those hindrances on those three units, that leaves G-Unit and C-Unit. G-Unit has chickens running around their cabin since I stuck seeds in there, but that's it. We'll have to do some more things to them. And C-Unit has Hell on its way towards them. What do you propose we do?"

Fox thought for a second and then smiled. "Revenge is sweet."

* * *

><p>Walking out of the shower area, Jackal sighed even with a smile on his face. While he was sure he wouldn't be smiling by the end of this exercise, it was still funny now. Even though they must have pulled the plumbing out of the shower area and sinks, because none of that was working.<p>

He turned around a building to get back to his unit to announce the unfortunate news, and came face to face with Badger. They both paused for a fraction of a second before moving to the side and slipping around each other. The rest of C-Unit followed him, heading towards where Jackal had just come from.

"Hey, if you want to use the showers or sinks, they're all broken," Jackal called after them. Badger made a noncommittal noise, and kept heading towards the building. Jackal rolled his eyes and shook his head, starting to continue on his own way. Glancing something out of the corner of his eye, he paused. Before one reached the showers, they had to walk through a path in between two rows of buildings. The buildings were full of supplies, ranging from medical to weaponry. On a ring outside of the those rows, a few extra buildings for teaching and the mess hall were situated. In a large circle around that were the cabins for the units staying there. Scattered a ways from the main camp were some of the training buildings that were regularly rebuilt after being blown up and shot through every few days.

No where on site were their trashcans other than inside the mess hall. So why was there one next to one of the supplies' buildings?

Dread filled his thoughts, and he thought for half a second about warning the unit. Then he remembered that they'd already flipped him of about his warning, so why should he bother? Jackal smirked slightly, waiting for whatever would happen to happen.

Badger took another step forward. He paused for a second, as if having taken a bad step and readjusting his weight, and then walked forward a bit more. Cougar, the last in the group, stopped, looking down at the ground. He looked up, as if about to say something.

Then the whole ground collapsed underneath them.

Hiding a grin and biting back a laugh, Jackal rushed towards the pit. He leaned over it, hands on his thighs, and looked down. Below him, the four men in the unit were lying on the ground, a few groaning. They shakily got to their feet, and looked around the pit. "I wonder how he dug this without us noticing..." Jackal pondered aloud.

Badger shot him a glare, and gestured at Cougar to come closer. "Okay, we'll have to hoist each other up. Jackal, grab whoever's on top and-"

"Can't." The G-Unit team leader managed not to say it in a sing-song voice. "Remember? We're not allowed to assist each other. I did enough by telling you that the plumbing was broken."

Badger growled and ignored the other unit leader. Within seconds, the other three unit members were pushing Cougar up onto ground level.

"You know what? I'll bet he dug this a long time ago, like when he first got here. There was that one time when we were all out of camp, and we heard a loud noise but thought it was just the planes flying overhead..." Jackal rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'll bet that's how he did it."

_Fwump_

Jackal looked over curiously at the pit again, and then leaned over. He pursed his lips, struggling not to snicker. Badger gave him a warning glance, and then continued patting himself off. Some sort of tarp had been thrown over the four of them, and Jackal saw someone sprinting off a nearby rooftop as fast as they could go. The tarp, after being shaken off, was revealed to have been slathered in a wet goo.

The wet goo had had little sparkles and plastic butterflies mixed into it.

Jackal turned away from the mess, walked a few feet away, and started cracking up. He heard Badger yell, "Shut it!" from the hole in the ground, but didn't care. When the rest of B-Unit, who had decided to set out and search for him to find out what had taken him so long, found him, he was on his back, panting and laughing. The unit had become used to the weird outbursts of emotion, and simply gestured at him in a 'what the hell?' movement. One of them, Python, looked over at the hole and wandered over to it. He glanced inside, and let out a hearty laugh.

"Shut the hell up!" Badger roared.

* * *

><p>Fox was still snickering as he returned back to the camp he and Cub had made up. "It went well, then?" the teen guessed. Fox gave a smile in response, and dropped onto a branch. The camp had been made from taking broken branches from storms, and spreading them across an area of tightly knitted tree limbs. About a full evening, night, and morning later, and they'd finally made it suitable to walk around in. This would seem like a major accomplishment. However, it was not even a foot off the ground, and had been made to look like an impassable tangled bramble patch.<p>

"Did you create that pit the day everyone was out parachuting?" Fox asked. Alex smirked and nodded.

"Jackal guessed?"

"I take no credit."

"So what to do now..." Alex thoughtfully said aloud. He fell back down on the branches, thinking. "We'll have to do something to G-Unit. And C-Unit we have to bombard with crap."

Fox raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Figuratively, or literally?"

* * *

><p>After half an hour of struggling to make the plumbing work, and C-Unit gave up and started marching back to their cabin. Members of other units contained their laughter when they saw them, and then skittered off to laugh and tell their unit. "Not a word to the sergeant," Badger hissed. "This is the last thing we need placed in a report."<p>

Several wet thuds came from the roof. More followed it. Cougar climbed onto a nearby building to look at their roof. He winced. "Uh... I think that's... _manure_..."

Small groans came from the rest of his unit.

* * *

><p>"This should stay steady for the time being," Wolf said as he cautiously entered their hastily remade cabin. "We'll continue to work on it as we plan out what to do next. Report."<p>

"B-Unit hauled the cow and chickens back to the mess hall. They said they'll cook them up and split it among everyone, but I'm guessing we'll have to act fast if we don't want our share stolen," Snake said. "The plumbing's out, so we can't take showers or use the toilets."

"His plan is to stink us to death?" Eagle wrinkled his nose. "Ew."

Snake smirked. The evil look that crossed his face in that second was enough to make both his teammates look at him and edge away slightly. "No, the plan... was to prevent C-Unit from washing off the plastic butterflies and glitter that got dumped all over them."

Wolf and Eagle stared at him for a second. Then Eagle flew backwards on his bed, howling, and Wolf let out a bark of laughter. "Like, all over, or...?" he managed.

"All. Over."

This news increased their laughter.

Twenty minutes later, and they were back to normal after discussing what methods the unit would probably try to save their pride. They could find none.

"Snake, go check back in on B-Unit to find out when the food will be ready and how much was in storage when the cooks abandoned ship. Eagle, find out what other pranks are going on and to who. Maybe we can find out when we'll be hit next." Wolf glared at their roof. "I'll try to fix this up some more. It still looks like it's going to collapse on our heads."

Eagle spared a glance towards the roof. "Yup. Good luck, o captain." Wolf shooed him out before he could start reciting poetry. Snake followed after, departing towards the mess hall.

Ten minutes later, and they both returned victorious. Snake reported that the food would be ready in half an hour, and they had a few day's supply of food. B-Unit would be hunkering down in the mess hall to prevent anyone from stealing it, and because they didn't want to have to rebuild. Several other pranks had been pulled, and the majority had been towards G-Unit. G-Unit had also taken off into the mountains.

Wolf shook his head. "They're going to get killed."

Snake nodded mournfully. "Nice knowing them."

Eagle looked thoughtful. "In honor of their memory, should we raid their cabin?"

* * *

><p>*Another name for this kind of animal is a dingo. It's a breed of wild dogs in Australia.<p>

**I know, I know. Dead flying dinosaur name would not be used in FFSAS. I've got a reason for this, however.

***I would _never_ have gotten this idea from my parents because my mom dumped her brothers' clothes out a window. No, not _my_ mother!

Okay, do you want me to continue the pranks in the next chapter, or skip forward to when the training exercise ends? Your vote! Oh, and ten votes (I learned from last time) about what to do until I'm posting.


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: Well, the people saying they wanted another chapter of pranks and the people requesting moving on are about tied. One review in particular mentioned that I need to bring the Green Jackets back in soon or the title is redundant, and they're right. So sorry, but I'm ending the pranks this chapter (and I ran out of things to pull on the poor guys).

I don't own this series! But I do own the ramen I'm eating... And it's so _good_!

* * *

><p>"Ah, chaos. Isn't this a good lesson?" Cub waved his arms at the FFSAS camp. "None of them can work together, so nothing is getting done. Buildings keep collapsing, so they don't know where to go. Food is running out, so they need ways to eat. Morale is low, so bickering is breaking out."<p>

"You're a devious teen, so the next time they see you they might rip your head off," Fox added.

Cub nodded in agreement. "Well, we have no pranks left to pull, but I guess that's just as well. The other instructors are returning in about an hour, so I'll cut them some slack so they can do what they can during the remainder of the time to make the camp somewhat presentable. Or, less distraught. Actually, it'll just be more for their sanity. The camp's screwed."

"Definitely. Should we move the supplies back near the camp so it won't be a long haul later?"

"Yup." Alex slapped his hands on his thighs as he stood, and stretched. "That'd be helpful. We'll keep the catapult where it is in case I decide to use it for a lesson."

Fox snorted. "For what? Are you going to fling dead animals at us to teach us how to dodge?" The contemplative silence that greeted his statement made him quickly backtrack. "Forget I said anything."

* * *

><p><em>(Nine days later)<em>

After the instructors had arrived, all units had been put to work to repair the camp. They were still rebuilding, but the most important things were completely renovated. Several instructors had spoken to Cub later, complimenting him on how well he'd been able to entirely demolish the camp and wrack up the soldiers.

His return into the camp settings had gone unnoticed by other units, but K-Unit hadn't missed it since they were in the same cabin. If looks could kill, he would've been painfully and agonizingly tortured to death by glares. Since he worked with the other instructors in repairing the area and therefore woke up later, he didn't sleep much, waiting for one of his unit members to kill him in his sleep. Albeit, they'd taken it better than expected. Eagle had raved on and on about how much he had enjoyed the week and seeing the pranks being pulled, especially since he wouldn't be yelled at by his team this time. He had especially seemed to be amused after Fox had admitted to helping. Snake's complaints had only been about injuries, and Wolf had taken it better than Alex had expected.

He bet they were faking it.

Finally, his actual classes were going to start. He wondered how long it would take for his students to slaughter him. Looking around the newly built barn, he wondered if it would be big enough to give him enough time for a getaway.

The barn was a rebuild of the original that had stood there, one that had been used to perform fake operations. The past barns that used to stand in the same spot had been shot full of so many holes and destroyed so many times that the last destruction had probably been just a part of schedule. Most of the buildings were like that. It was about twenty feet tall, and forty feet across. Two large doors were at one end, and a small backdoor was at the other side in a corner. Rows of benches had been pulled in so the people listening to the lectures wouldn't have to stand through all of it. There was no such thing for the one lecturing, but Alex figured that was just as well since he wouldn't have used it anyway.

He leaned against the wall opposite the benches, in the shadows, and waited for hell to arrive through the barn doors.

On time, the two units he was teaching came in. The other three were still repairing, and tomorrow two of them would switch with the ones receiving lectures today. The last unit would get its own day, and hopefully by then it would be a normal schedule with all buildings repaired. The other instructors were still working to repair the destruction, and had agreed that it would be best to give Cub's lesson while the memories of the prank week were still fresh. After training under the instructors, it was a strange experience to suddenly be accepted by them.

Upon taking their seats, all members were staring at him. Despite his attempts, they had noticed him instantly. They were trained to, and Alex would've been giving a different lesson than planned if they hadn't. He stared back for several seconds without expression, but saw that the ones aimed at him were anything but. Today's units were C-Unit and F-Unit, not the best of combinations for the first day. The plumbing had been the first thing fixed by a hard-working C-Unit.

"So," he finally said, bucking his back slightly to push himself off the wall. "How were your last two weeks?" If he was going to die, he might as well piss them all off before he did. He had a reputation to uphold, after all. The growls that resonated through the building were enough to satisfy him. "Heh. Yeah, figured as much. Since it was, as just mentioned, two weeks ago when I mentioned why I'm here, I'll do a thorough version of why before we move on to the actual class. I'm here to teach you how to work with and/or counteract the methods and techniques of the terrorist organization Scorpia. I have the updated -and, for that matter, first- version of how they work. I'll be teaching what I know to you all until either I have nothing left to tell you or MI6 needs me to run a mission for them. In the mean time, let's just get along. Or not, from your expressions."

A soldier, looking extremely pissed about it, raised his hand, and said, "Sir!" Alex cocked his head in acknowledgement at him. "What the hell was the week before last about?"

"Ah, right, that. I'll get to that. While I remember, don't bother with raised hands or asking for permission to speak. And 'sir' makes me feel old. The week was my way of demonstrating a mock run of Scorpia methods, causing distrust and discord among whatever it's attacking. If there are no other prequel questions, I'll start breaking down the results of the week and compare it to Scorpia, and then run over what you all could have done better."

* * *

><p>"When did you learn to give lectures?" Snake asked as they trailed back to their cabins. Ironically, they had been the last group he'd had to give the speech to.<p>

Alex shrugged modestly. "You guys got the best version since I had time to practice it. I learned how to do it from school. They had us do speeches and stuff a lot.* I can finally say I've done something in school that's saved my ass in real life. You should've seen the first group. I'm pretty sure they were all going to murder me."

"Badger and Terradactyl were in that group, right? How _did_ you manage it? Sheer luck?" Eagle questioned, walking backwards. Wolf opened the door as they arrived, and the group trooped in. Eagle bounced off the outside of it, and then maneuvered himself in through the door while still going backwards.

"I don't know. For some reason, all the dark energy started to fade away after I shot down one of Swan's comments," Cub replied.

Snake, halfway back out the door after grabbing a change of clothes to take a shower, paused. "Who the hell is Swan?"

"I thought Terradactly was the only person who got sniped in the naming department," Fox said. The F-Unit leader had had a friend who worked above, and had made a few nudges and suggestions to all the right people. The friend, jokingly telling him he would die within days, had managed to get the leader named after an extinct animal. The friend had ended up being the one who the joke had been played on.

"Oh, right." Alex nodded, straight-faced. "I renamed Badger."

They all stared at him.

"And he didn't strangle you?" Wolf asked. The teen shrugged. "Keep one eye open when you sleep, kid. That's all I'm going to say."

"Please. I dumped a dead cow on your roof. I've been doing that already as is."

"For once you've done something smart."

"Wolf, don't be mean to the kiddie!"

"The _what_?"

"Was he referring to himself? He's the only kid I see here..."

"Fox! What kind of a teammate are you?"

"An honest one."

"If so, what're you doing in this unit?"

"Snake, go take your shower."

* * *

><p>"...and, just about lastly, all of the renovations have been accomplished. Thanks for that, Cub. I'd been meaning to repair my classroom anyways," an instructor, Scayter, said. "I think that just about covers it, except for one more announcement. Hathur?" Scayter looked down the conference room all the training instructors at Breacon Beacons had been piled into. It was the day in the week where they went over everything occurring in camp, or any important events that would be happening. A table had been pulled into the room along with some chairs, but none of them had bothered to use them. The only two instructors who were had them leaned back against the wall or were squatting on the seat with the chair facing backwards.<p>

"Yup, just one more thing," Hathur said. The sergeant was a lot different when he wasn't yelling at his subordinates. "In about a week and a half, the Green Jackets are coming back for another RTI session. None of them are going to be happy to be here, which has been the case ever since that incident a while back." A few instructors snickered, and Cub looked at the ceiling innocently. "What they don't know is the order the Green Jackets have allowed me to give. Rider, you can use this as a training exercise. Knock yourself out."

Cub grinned. "I doubt I'll be the one knocked out by the end of this."

"Don't burn the camp down!" Tyler, still squatting backwards on the chair, cheerfully said. "Unless you really need to. Or it just is easier. Hell, if you feel like it, just light the whole place up."

"I'll keep that in mind," he responded with a smirk. "And I don't suppose any of you moved the catapult?"

Shakes of heads greeted him.

"Awesome. I suppose flinging Green Jackets off it is a no-no, but there's plenty of other stuff we can put on it. Ah, the fun we shall have..."

* * *

><p>* They do at my school at least. But then, I'm an American, so I'm just assuming<p>

Ow... I tore off some of the skin on my fingers rubbing rust off my dogs' bowl. -.- Hurts to type. At least I had most of it done. I'm going to wait for them to heal before I type anymore. If I put bandages on, they snag on the keyboard.


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: My fingers healed. Duh. Means I can type!

Why, _why_, would I own Alex Rider? I'm still in school!

* * *

><p>It was the day of the Green Jackets arrival. Alex had been out of the camp for the past two days, sorting out some confusion back at the MI6 headquarters about when he would be returning. Now, he was staring at the opposite wall of the newly built K-Unit cabin at six in the morning. The Green Jackets would be arriving any time now, and he had to prepare his class for that. He hadn't given them any warning, but he still expected them to make it through the RTI without actually getting through it. He should've taught them enough techniques against capture by now, right?<p>

He shook his head. Why was he being a mother hen? They were his students, not...

"Hey, you're back," Snake murmured, sitting up. Cub, lost in thought, didn't process what he'd said. "Cub?" He nudged the teen. "Oi." He got a response.

"Nice dodge," Alex responded, pulling his arm back after the reflexive movement.

"You trained us. Actually, you've done better than any of the other instructors did in showing us how to operate. Where'd you learn to teach?" Snake asked casually, not seeming to notice the stiffness that flowed over the teen. After silence from the younger, he shot a probing glance over at him.

Feeling inclined to answer, Alex muttered, "I used some of the methods Scorpia uses to teach their new assassins." He didn't look at the other unit member, expecting some sort of violent response or angry spout of words along the lines of, 'You're training us to be the people we're trying to take out?'

"Scorpia's missing out," Snake replied calmly after a half second's pause. Cub turned to him, stunned, but he was no longer paying attention.

They were his students in counter-terrorism against Scorpia, and were the first people to look at his knowledge as something other than a reminder that he had been Scorpia and shouldn't be trusted. They were the first people to accept him as one of their own, because to them the past didn't matter so much as what he could prove to them in the present.

"What's with the expression?"

"Just..." Cub let out a small laugh. "No one's ever taken in that way before."

A hand ruffled his hair. He dodged away from the offending appendage, glancing up to see Eagle leaning over from his bunk. "You must have not been around many FFSAS guys then. Where were you?"

"Paperwork mishap."

Four groans from around the cabin told him that one, they were familiar with that sort of thing and two, he was dealing with some sneaky and_ awake_ demons. Fox in particular rolled over, putting his pillow over his head to cover his ears. "No more!"

"What're we doing today, O Teacher?" Eagle asked, practically bouncing with energy. "And by the way, have you been near your barn recently?"

"As for what we're doing, you'll have to find out when we get there." He paused. "But I advise you eat a light lunch." In the case it didn't go well with resisting, RTI was not easy on the stomach. "No, I haven't been near my barn recently. I've been in MI6's HQ. Why?"

Eagle looked at the ceiling with a blank expression. "No reason."

Cub turned to the others. "It's still standing, right?"

Wolf nodded. "Should be. Was the last time I saw it. You slowpokes going to wait around any longer?" The unit leader departed from the room.

"When did he get dressed?" Fox fell out of bed ungracefully, rolled over* to reach his hand under his bed, and pulled out his clothes. Cub was the next out of the cabin, and Eagle fell out after him. Snake walked over him, and Fox kicked him out of the way. After muttering some complaints, Eagle got to his feet and left after them.

Cub departed from the path to the mess hall, and instead walked towards his barn. At their curious expressions, he said, "You'll see during your lesson."

* * *

><p>As the units filed in for lessons, he gestured hurriedly. "Okay, we need to move fast here." The class, having learned not to ask questions until he was done speaking unless they wanted to be one of his victims, ah, helpers for the day, remained silent but attentive. "Did anyone come into the camp while you were on your way over here?"<p>

"Nope."

"Not a soul."

"Are we waiting for the Terminator? Did you hire him to teach us how to fight?"

"I think he's busy governing in America..."

"Why are we talking about Schwarzenegger?"

"That's it! He's invisible!"

"Just the first two sufficed," Alex said with a smile. "And you only wish I asked him. No, we might have some visitors, but we'll teach normally until then. When they arrive, we're going to have to do some butt-whupping. Just a heads-up. And we can't do it with weapons, but I'm sure we can manage it."

"Who's showing up?" Wolf asked.

Alex paused. "Green Jackets."

The units, B, C, and K, froze. They shot small, nervous glances at each other. Then Eagle cracked a grin. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on Snake's head, much to the other's annoyance. Pushing his weight onto his friend so he had to lean down to support the weight and so Eagle's voice would be unhindered by the person in front of him, he said, "So, what shit shall we dump upon our unwelcome visitors?"

Cub smirked. "You're the students. Throw out ideas. They'll be here anytime now."

* * *

><p>Swan was upside down, hands splayed as they supported his weight, and legs thrown over Cub's back with his feet firmly in the teen's hands. The teacher was calmly standing still, waiting for the other to realize there was absolutely no way out of his predicament. Once he did, the teen would describe how best to land without snapping his back and then demonstrate it.<p>

This was how they had decided to wait for the Green Jackets.

"So, when flipping..." Alex started to lean forward.

The door slammed open. Alex shot an irritable glance at the ones standing in the doorway. They started to march in.

The door slammed closed in their faces. Jackal and his teammate, Falcon**, stood behind it, palms pressed against it, grinning mischievously. "Who ordered the pizza?" Jackal said with a smirk.

Banging started on the door from the other side. It stopped, and someone yelled, "Hey! Open the door!"

"Say please!" Falcon called out. Someone slammed into the door. The FFSAS man stuck his tongue out at it, even through the Green Jackets couldn't see him. "Who taught you manners?"

"The same person who taught him people skills," Jackal said, smirking at the door. A combined weight of two bodies slammed into the door. It was splintering, but the FFSAS men kept it in place. "Form a queue!"

The slamming stopped. "Rider!" the first Green Jacket yelled out. "You're not allowed to protect your students!"

He sounded like he was going to continue, but Alex cut him off. "_Protect_ them? They thought this up themselves! Now, if you don't mind, they have politely told you to go to hell. I have teaching to get done, so go bother someone else. We're busy. If you refuse to comply, we will come out there and do some butt kicking, and I will spend the rest of the day lecturing you. As these men will tell you, that is an experience you want to pass up on. Am I right?"

The units gave their vocal assessments.

"Exactly. Are you going?"

"Screw you!"

"Respect your superiors!" Alex shot back. "Shoo, you deaf imbecile. Did I not already tell you to go away? Yes. I did."

The backdoor flew open, and four man strode in, angry. Alex barely turned, swung his shoulders and hands, and used simple gravity and force to fling Swan at the four of them. "Can't you see I'm trying to teach here?" he yelled. The four all disappeared from sight. Alex frowned. He walked over to the back door, and glanced down. "What the..." He gestured at the newly formed cliff that had materialized in his backyard. "That was not there last time."

"Yeah..." Eagle grinned. "Another one of our instructors was letting us shoot rockets yesterday..."

Tyler. Of course. Alex looked back at the cliff. He looked back to them. "Where were you _aiming_?"

"I missed the target."

"And, some would say, missed the barn, too," Falcon cheerfully added. Alex rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so who wants to go get our missing member and the Green Jackets? Don't all volunteer at once! Fine. C-Unit, go get them."

"Why can't K-Unit do it?"

"Because it's your team leader that just went over the hill. Cliff. Whatever. Go get 'em."

Not feeling all to boisterous about it, C-Unit set off down the cliff that had been haphazardly made.

Meanwhile, Alex turned back to his trainees. "Damn. My demonstrator just got lost. Hm..."

"Cub!" Wolf pointed at a side of the barn. A red light was shining under it, and smoke was coming through the wood panels. Those who hadn't already been standing stood, moving to the opposite end of the barn.

Alex calmly stared at it. "Damn."

This is what they had decided to do in case the Green Jackets tried to light the barn on fire.

* * *

><p>Outside, the Green Jackets waited eagerly for their prey to run out into open jaws. After five people had unexpectedly gone over the edge of the cliff, they had grouped together for one final charge. Someone had pulled out a lighter, and suggested they burn them out. C-Unit had gone around them while they were discussing that idea.<p>

Suddenly, the barn roof flew off. It didn't collapse, it shot off. And with it, a large webbing of something flew into the air, disappearing into the sky.

None of them spoke for a second. "Aliens?" one of them muttered.

* * *

><p>Alex blew some wet hair out of his eyes. "Well, that took us a little farther out than expected. Let's get back to shore, and see what other bits of mayhem we can cause." The expressions the men gave him were ones of 'No shit, Sherlock'. They were all currently in the body of water Alex had dropped the Green Jacket's truck his first time there. They also were all glaring at Alex, as well as shivering from the cold water.<p>

It had taken the Green Jackets about an hour after the class had started to arrive. During that time, units K and B had hiked up the hill and gotten onto it using the elastic rope. They'd flipped the catapult around, and attached the rope to the part that flung objects off it. Meanwhile, B-Unit dragged a net over from one of the equipment sheds, the kind they used to cover vehicles to hide them. The net had been placed over the straw in the barn, and under everyone's feet on the floor. They'd also located enough parachutes for everyone to use.

A simple radio was used to keep contact between the main group and Fox and Hawk, who had both stayed behind up in the hill. When they told them to, the duo had launched the catapult, sending the units, who had returned to the barn, and Alex into the air. They'd gotten under the net and held onto it, not wanting the net to slam them all together. As soon as the tension from the catapult relaxed, they opened the parachutes and more or less landed safely in the water.

"So we use the net to pull ourselves in?" Jackal asked.

"Yeah, basically. I'd tell them to haul us in, but it's not like we can talk-woah!" The net, still around all of them, unexpectedly yanked forward. They were dragged with it. "Looks like they got the idea!"

On the hill, Fox and Hawk had wrapped rope around a dead log, and shoved the log down. Gravity would do the rest of the work to help haul their teammates from the water.

After being pulled most of the way up the cliffs and climbing up the rest of the way, the units hiked back to the hill. The two on it disconnected the rope and climbed down from it to talk. "I'm only the teacher here," Alex said as they came out of the trees to join their units, "so I'm not going to say anything on what to do next. You've done well up till now, I'll give you that. What're you planning to accomplish here in the short term?"

"Get the Green Jackets out of here!"

"Right." Alex smirked. "And in the long term?"

"Make 'em never want to come back," Eagle said with an evil grin.

A chorus of agreements followed him.

"And how do we accomplish that?" Alex's smirk had yet to diminish.

* * *

><p>*Random. When Tsuki was a toddler, she refused to walk. She would roll everywhere. She'd stop, look up, adjust herself, and then keep rolling. Some would say that's still what she does. (This is revenge against her leaving for something and being gone for two days. People who know me know that I am a strong follower of revenge. A farmer took out an area where I practiced my bo staff. I stole some of the metal pipes he had under that area because they were rusted and I could use them to forge (I'm looking into becoming a blacksmith). So what if they held the ground in place when the area flooded? He can get new ones. He's renovating the area anyway.)<p>

**Tsuki's character from her ac lives on.


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: Requested hot glue part!

I don't own Alex Rider. We've covered this before. Several times.

* * *

><p>"Now," Eagle said with a Cheshire grin, "This is RRTI. There is no extra R in front; this is a variation of RTI. This is Reverse Resistance To Interrogation. It's where the regular victims* interrogate the interrogators. Once you pass this class, you are promoted to RTC: Resistance to Cub-I mean Cliffs. Once you pass <em>that<em>, we move you onto RTRTI, which is Resistance to Resistance to Interrogation. And the last step, after which you're more or less free to go, is RTW, Resistance to Wolf. He's one of the guys here, and will be embarking some of his wise knowledge upon you. I'd wish you luck, but I don't like any of you."

"What the hell is going on?" one of the guys strapped to the plastic yelled out. Using the techniques that they had been taught, the units had returned to camp and taken every Green Jacket inside captive. They'd released their own teammates, and briefed them on their plan. Their friends had readily agreed, grinning ear to ear even before they had finished.

Eagle and Falcon were now briefing the Green Jackets as well. Most of them were tied up, but about five were stuck to the plastic that had had hot glue layered thickly onto it. They were sprawled out on the floor of one of the teaching barns. Elsewhere in the camp, the other units were readying buildings for the new courses that were about to be taught at Breacon Beacons. Falcon was leaning against the wall, smirking at their victims, and Eagle was standing in front of them with his hands on his hips, grinning broadly.

Unknown to them, Alex, unable to participate as he was an instructor, was sitting in the conference room with Tyler and two other psychopath FFSAS instructors, watching the proceedings through video feeds around the camp.

"We were given permission to, ah, change things up this year," Falcon responded. "And before you say your sergeant won't approve or stand for this sort of thing, he suggested it. Something about your egos getting to your head."

_The FFSAS sergeant prepared himself as he saw the Green Jacket's sergeant walk up to him. They were at an annual conference meeting, and the sergeant was surprised The Incident had yet to be mentioned. "Look, I'm sorry about the whole cliff thing. The kid was out of line and under MI6-"_

_"Yeah, but I heard he's going to be back at your camp the same time RTI's going to be going on," the other sergeant interrupted._

_Normally, he didn't stand for interruptions, but he figured he didn't want to get on his fellow officers' bad side as it was. "Yeah, heard that, too. I'll try to keep him away from your guys..."_

_"Oh, don't bother. They've been getting too egotistical as of late. Give them something to remember and let them cool off. I don't want anything turning bad in my units."_

_"...You want us to disregard normal RTI protocol?"_

_"Screw the whole thing. Do what you want, and give my guys a little push in the right direction."_

_"We do have those cliffs..."_

_"Preferably not off them again."_

_"Right. Just near them."_

"We promised to give a helping hand," Eagle added on. "Now, you're all going to go on with the first stage, which B-Unit will kindly introduce you to. Meanwhile, I'm going to go make some tea. Falcon, all yours."

"Yes... Now, we're going to split you up, and teach you a few new life lessons."

* * *

><p>"Let me get this straight," SwanBadger said, sitting up. Jaguar, the unit medic, shoved him back down on the bed and continued tending to his friend's cracked arm. He shot a grudging glace at Jaguar, and then looked back to Snake. "We're torturing the Green Jackets? The hell?"

"Yeah. Here's basically what we're doing. They've got to go through four steps before they leave. The first step was designed by Jackal's guys, Reverse Resistance to Interrogation. They're running that one by-"

_The group stared at the two of them, dumbfounded. In the background, opera music was playing. _Bad _opera music was playing.** They'd dragged a desk in, and Falcon was standing on it. Behind the desk, Jackal was sitting in a chair with his fingers intertwined on the desk in front of him. "Now. What is the capital of Iceland? You in the front. Not you. No, no, you! What, are you blind? You! Yes, you! the guy who looks like he just pissed himself! Oh, that's how you normally look? Okay, that's cool, man. We gotta be supportive of one other. Now, what's the capital?"_

_"How the hell should I know that? I'm not a historian!" the man snapped._

_Falcon turned up the opera music another notch in punishment. "What the hell? And you call yourself a man? Why, _why_ do you not know the capital of Iceland?"_

_"That right there is someone who hasn't watched enough of Craig Ferguson***," Jackal said knowingly. "Him, right there. It's Reykjavik! Duh! How'd you pass high school? Nimrod. Just for that, turn it up another notch."_

Swan nodded. "Jackal moved here from America. He was a fan of The Late Late Show, and still is. Watches it every chance he gets."

"That explains it," Snake said. Continuing, he added, "After B-Unit decides they've heard enough opera or have answered enough questions right, they'll move onto G-Unit's part. Those evil bastards have planned out-"

_Warrigal looked over the edge of the cliff. "No. No. No. No. No. You're going it wrong. No. No. No. No. No. That's still not right. No. No. No. No. What are you trying to do, again? Were you listening to what we told you? No. No. No. No. No. Yes. Just kidding, that's still wrong," he unhelpfully said._

_Below him, hanging off of bungee cords, eleven of the Green Jackets were swaying upside down. They were attached to the cliffs, and trying to clamber back up. One managed it for the third time. Coyote looked down at him expressionlessly, and detachedly kicked him back off._

_"That wasn't very nice," Boa chided. Coyote gave him a look that told him how much he cared. He looked back down the cliff. He shuffled over, still staring down. Another person reached the top, and yelped as Coyote's foot narrowly missed his head. The man hopped slightly, pushing off using his hands, trying to avoid the solemn FFSAS man. His speed was not fast enough, and he soon fell back down._

"Once they manage to get pass Resistance to Cliffs, which was momentarily named Cub instead of Cliffs after him, they're dealing with F-Unit and their invented Resistance to Resistance to Interrogation. No, I didn't stutter. That's what they're calling it. To pass it, they just have to be conscious by the end of-"

_The three men who had managed to answer every question correctly, suffer through opera music, and climb up the cliff past Coyote, had now been released into the woods. They'd been directed roughly-"Okay, go straight through these woods, and keep going, and keep going, and keep going, and look for a helicopter"-and were all now trying to find a helicopter. They were traveling in a group, which was unfortunate for them._

_Nearby, a smirking Hawk fired a warning shot above their heads with a paintball gun. The three jumped, and whipped around. One hissed something to the other two, and they all took off in different directions._

_"Now they're getting somewhere," Terradactyl muttered. "Since nobody's bothered to tell Wolf's unit yet that they're supposed to be flying the helicopter over our heads, I guess this session's going to be a little prolonged."_

_An explosion went off in the direction one of the men had gone. Viper stumbled back towards them, shaking dust and ash out of his hair, and scrubbing dirt off his face. "The hell... You!" He pointed at Terradactyl._

_"You!" Hawk smartly said, turning to his unit leader._

_Terradactyl shrugged. "Me."_

_"Tell Boar that he is not allowed to do that again!" Viper exclaimed, still scrubbing at his face and hair._

_"What'd he do?" Terradactyl sighed._

_"He send a robot squirrel after one of the guys-"_

_Hawk burst out laughing._

_"-and it exploded right when I was about to take him out!"_

_Terradactyl nodded sternly. "I'll tell him he is no longer allowed to build exploding squirrels."_

_"Where does he come up with these ideas?" Boar demanded towards the sky.****_

_"Come and get it!" they heard their teammate yell. Several more explosions went off._

"It's a bit harder than it sounds. I don't know what Boar's done to those woods, and I don't want to know. I just know I'm not stepping foot in those woods until I have full assurance I won't get my foot blown off. If I have to go in there, Boar's going first."

"Damn straight." Leopard nodded.

"Okay, what's the fourth step?" said Swan, redirecting the conversation.

"Well, we've got five units here; B, C, F, G, and K, because whoever the hell runs these shifts can't say their alphabet right. Anyway, your unit was busy getting you back, rounding up Green Jackets, and basically being police, which they did quite well and enthusiastically. Since they weren't able to do anything in the way of planning torture, we only had the four steps. B went first, G-unit went second, F-unit was next, and finally, mine. By that time, we were fresh out of ideas that wouldn't get us binned, but overloading on a list of ideas that would be hysterically funny and completely awesome, but would most definitely get our asses skewered the next time RTI rolled around and Cub wasn't here with his handy little stretchy rope thing or his catapult, which they're probably going to be taking out sooner or later. However, we had one more trick up our sleeve. We're pretty sure we're still going to get in trouble for it, but that's how things work, isn't it?"

_The lone survivor of every challenge after him dreaded stepping up into the helicopter. Inside, only three members of a unit were inside. One was piloting, and as soon as the Green Jacket was safely inside, he lifted the helicopter into the air. They flew low over the trees, and the Green Jacket could see some of people moving through the trees. Whether they were hunting for prey or being hunted, he couldn't tell. At least he'd been able to dodge the exploding deer..._

_He was never signing up for this again._

_One of the FFSAS men in the copter seemed to read his mind. He flashed a grin, and tossed him one of the parachute bags. He slipped it on expertly. "Hi. This is Wolf." The man sitting next to him didn't seem to hear him. "He's going to be the guy you want to pay the closest attention to during this last part of the exam. Eagle's flying; I'm Fox."_

_"Aren't there four people to a unit?" the Green Jacket asked, not knowing what else to do. The helicopter was now going higher and higher up._

_"Yeah. Snake didn't really care for all this. Said it would take too much work later cleaning everybody up. Of course, he's probably right, but... I'm sorry, but this is fun as hell."_

_Ready to make a snappy comment in return, the Green Jacket unexpectedly paused. Then shrugged and gave a small laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it would be. Since we've been beating the tar out of you guys for the last few years... It was your turn."_

_"Yeah..." Fox shrugged. "So I guess we're all even, then. In some way or other."_

_The Green Jacket looked around the helicopter. "So, what's up with this?"_

_"This last part of the training?"_

_"Yeah. What're we doing?"_

_"Well, to put it simply..." Fox stood, holding onto two of the handrails to steady himself. Wolf did the same, a small smirk forming on his face. Instinctively, the Green Jacket stood too. "...we're showing you how Wolf got over his fear of heights."_

_An uneasy feeling formed in his stomach. "How'd he do that?"_

_"Cub... ah... helped him out of a plane."_

_The Green Jacket frowned, about to ask something. The next thing he knew, he was being flung out of the helicopter._

_Above, K-Unit watched as he smartly waited before opening the parachute. He drifted down, manipulating his chute to let him land on the ship that Cub had called out for them. Eagle waved down, even though no one could see him._

"We are so screwed the next time RTI comes around," Swan sighed.

"Oh yeah." Snake nodded. "But it was completely worth it. We taped every second of it."

"That makes up for everything," Leopard said with a grin.

* * *

><p>*Interrogatees? I couldn't think of another word for the people being interrogated. Captain Montgomery from Castle would've called them scumbags, but I don't think that's how they would've described themselves...<p>

**and it sounded suspiciously like my fourth grade teacher.

***You can tell I was watching The Late Late Show while I was typing this, can't you?

****The more correct question would be 'Where does the author come up with these ideas?' and the answer is, 'I was watching Craig Ferguson. All is explained.'


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: I just now realized that I posted this a month ago and only have six chapters up. Pathetic. (Hear that, self? PATHETIC.) So yeah, sorry about the waits, especially since these chapters have been two-thirds of what I normally write.

By the way, when I was reading through the last chapter for a name reference, I realized I had typed in the wrong one at a certain point. Boar was the man setting off exploding animals (which were robots). He never spoke to any of his teammates during the scene I showed. The switch-up had him asking "Where doe he come up with these ideas?" when it should've been Viper saying it.

* * *

><p>The commander* of all England's special forces stared evenly at the three of them; Alex, the FFSAS sergeant, and the Green Jacket sergeant. He picked up a hefty stack of papers, and waved it. "Do you have any idea what's in here?" he asked, still not showing expression.<p>

Two of them said, "No, sir," but Alex responded with, "I might have an idea, sir." The commander raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. "Complaints from Green Jacket families or from the Green Jackets themselves?"

The folder of papers hit the table with an ominous thud. "Precisely. This is a third of the complaints filed against Rider." The teen managed not to smile triumphantly. The commander picked up another folder of papers, bigger than the first. "Sergeant Johnson,"-the Green Jacket sergeant-"this is yours." A third, and the biggest yet, dropped onto the table. "And half of Sergeant Hathur's. While Rider's was the biggest, the two of you got quite the amount yourselves. As men of positions, I'm sure you've all dealt with fair share amounts of paperwork. So you'll understand when I say that all these," he gestured at the stacks of papers, "are not enjoyable to look through, as each means a three page written report about why they were sent in. I still have yet to understand why_I_ in particular have to fill these out, but I do.

"This stack," the commander, leaning over to bend beneath his desk, hefted a massive pile of papers that topped his head onto the desk. The second he set it down, it spilled over the edge of the table onto the floor. "This stack is of complaints from the ship docks and airspace involved and dragged into this little operation. Not to mention a crew of a ship unexpectedly pulled out to sea to catch falling Green Jackets, almost none of whom were glad to see the crew. Three brawls broke out, and two men were hospitalized as a result.

"And just what where the three people in charge of this doing?" The commander cocked his head at them. He had yet to show any signs of anger or resentment, instead looking entirely calm.

They resisted the urge to look at each other. After a pause, Alex said, "Sir, I was watching the procedures to make sure no one got carried away."

"No one got 'carried away'? In all, twenty are in the hospital."

"Four of them fell off a cliff because the bungee cords were weak and one of the idiots decided to tie them all together and lower each Green Jacket down below. G-Unit couldn't see what they were doing in the dark, so by the time they realized what was happening one of the bungee cords had already snapped. You already mentioned the three Green Jackets and naval crew, and did you see their records? If they weren't hospitalized from this, it would've been something else. Another two were FFSAS, and that was because Falcon fell off the desk and cracked his ankle, and Boar was trying to turn off all his robot squirrels when someone bumped into him. That caused several other injuries, and the rest were because the Green Jackets couldn't _land_ right on the ship. No one got carried away, and any harm done to the Green Jackets was nothing worse than what they go through in RTI," Alex simply replied. He paused. "Sir."

The commander accepted this, and turned to the sergeants.

"I was waiting for word from Rider about how everything had gone, sir," Hathur said.

"I was waiting back at my camp and making sure things were running normally, sir," Johnson said.

The commander nodded. "Fair enough. Now, the Green Jackets went over to Breacon Beacons to _perform_ RTI training with the FFSAS. Yet somehow, they unwilling ended up on the victim end of a series of trials they had no idea they would be taking part in. How did this come about, and who was responsible?"

Johnson took up this part. "Last year, when all the special forces' training sergeants got together for the yearly meeting, Hathur and I talked about the RTI before, when the Green Jacket's session had been cut short when a Jeep most of them were in had the parking brake pulled out and they went off the cliff. I said that Hathur's boys should rally up something else for my guys, since their egos had been going through the roof, and something bad was going to happen. While I'm aware there were other ways to soothe their nerves without sending them off to a group of guys with shooting licenses, a bunch of them are heading off to Afghanistan soon. I didn't want anything going wrong with that, so I went for a quicker method. After our talk, their minds were still in the clouds, so I asked Hathur to put something into action when the RTI group came over. Rider has been teaching about Scorpia at the Breacon Beacons camp for the last few weeks, and we decided to make use of this and let the RTI be a training exercise to put what he had taught them to work. Sir."

The commander still was expressionless. He nodded. He put his hand on the tallest stack of papers, and some more fluttered out as he did so. "I said earlier that these were not enjoyable to look through. I never said they weren't welcome."

Rider raised an eyebrow. Hathur kept the surprise off his face. Johnson blinked.

"When I get this sort of abundance of letters of complaints, it means one of two things happened. One: something tragic just happened. Unless we call the loss of some men's immaturity a tragedy, this doesn't fall under that category. Two: something productive just happened. This situation falls under the second category. To sum up this meeting, I have some things to ask of you three. The first is that I want you to further plan this out instead of throwing it together at the last minute, as I understand the FFSAS men did." Rider nodded in affirmation. "Another thing is that I would like to know how the hell you got a catapult out there."

"Um, long story."

"I figured. Another time, then. I would also appreciate it if you would all feel welcome to send any video recordings you may have taken during this process this way." He made a gesture, including the offices around them. "The people around here really need to calm down once in a while and laugh. My last request." The commander pointed at the paperwork. A slight pleading note entered his tone. "Help."

* * *

><p>"Back from being chewed out?" Snake asked as Cub closed the door to the cabin as he entered.<p>

"Back, yes. Chewed up? Shockingly, no. In fact, the three of us were more or less told to do this better and more often. The only real bad thing he had to say was that he wanted us to help with the paperwork he'd amassed. We managed to back out of that, since he made the mistake of stating it like a suggestion." Alex flopped down on his bed. "The four of you look like you're in high spirits," he noted. Indeed they were. All four were either smiling or outright grinning at the world, and looked to be immensely enjoying themselves.

"Just sharing experiences on the whole thing," Fox explained. "You missed the debriefing, by the way. The techies got together all the footage, organized it, and played it on the side of your barn." Before Hathur and Alex had left for the meeting with the commander of the special forces and Johnson, they had overseen the rebuilding of anything destroyed, including the barn.

Alex shrugged. "Darn. Maybe I can ask for a copy. Need to send it in anyway..."

Wolf cocked his head. "Send it where?"

"The commander's office staff apparently wants to be in on the fun," he responded with a smirk. This got another round of laughs.

The door swung open, and Warrigal waved at them. "Hey, guys, you should head to the barn again. We're replaying the debriefing for the instructors who missed it. Cub, nice to see you again. With your arrival, does that mean we can get this camp into some more trouble?"

"We can always try."

Warrigal shrugged in reply, and left with the door still open. K-Unit followed after him, heading towards the barn Alex used to teach at. They overtook Warrigal as they came into view of the newly rebuilt building. Everyone else had already gathered, and looked to be cheering about something. Hathur was moving out of the way of the screen, appearing to have finished speaking. "Looks like he just told everyone else. We'll be doing this again next year," the teenager explained to the G-Unit leader.

The man gestured at the screen, which had started playing. "We'll be replaying the footage?" he asked, not daring to think they would actually allow them to prank the Green Jackets again.

"Nope. We'll be lighting fires under some asses again."

Warrigal grinned.

"Let's get settled in if we want to watch this. Come on Cub, you haven't seen this yet!" Eagle exclaimed, pushing the youngest of the group towards the barn. He laughed, and jogged after the eccentric FFSAS member as he switched tactics and pulled him instead.

Wolf shook his head, smiling. Fox rolled his eyes and took off after the pair. Snake simply said, "A day to remember, eh?"

Ahead, Eagle pushed Alex down onto a good spot on the grass. He dropped down next to him, and a second later they were joined by Fox. Back behind the majority of the men gathered, there was some swearing as the techies tried to get the film to work. Someone banged on it, and it jerked to life. There were a few cheers that quickly dimmed down as attention went to the screen.

Wolf and Snake joined them just as the opening credits started up.

**A Techie's Underrated Life Film Productions presentation...**

**Working alongside G-Unit, F-Unit, B-Unit, C-Unit, and K-Unit of the FFSAS...**

**Under the command and guidance of Cub...**

"I got a special mention? Cool."

Eagle ruffled his hair with a grin, and he ducked away.

**Presents:**

_**Those Guys We Forgot About?**_

* * *

><p>Alex yawned as they returned to the cabin hours later. "Well, that was fun."<p>

"Definitely," Eagle said, falling onto his bed.

A few other words were exchanged, but the teen wasn't listening anymore. He stared absently at the ceiling, thinking of what lay ahead. On his way back to the camp, he had received word from the MI6 HQ about a new assignment. He was to report in soon. That would mean leaving the camp he'd begun to love.

A sharp whistle got his attention along with repeatedly snapping fingers in front of his face. He swatted them away.

"Hello?" Eagle asked as Fox pulled his hand back. "Anybody home?"

Cub muttered something in reply.

"Heading back soon?" Wolf guessed, seeming to pull the answer out of thin air.

"Got about a week left."

"Not ready to go?" Snake asked.

Cub shrugged. "Somehow, I've taken a liking to teaching. It's got some charm to it, being the only one in command. It's better than going off into the clutches of some mission where people have started to not even bother with making plans because they never turn out right. I'll be heading back out in about a week."

* * *

><p><em>Two days later<em>

Hather approached him five minutes before his first class of the day started. He didn't bother with small talk. "Heard you've got a mission coming up in Korea." Alex shrugged in response. "Didn't hear anything other than that." He paused for a second, as if wondering how to best break something. "You know, we've got a batch of new recruits coming in about two weeks from now. They're going to need a teacher on terrorist actions."

Alex refrained from smiling. He nodded solemnly. "They will."

"Especially on Scorpia, since almost no one's been able to document their actions, knowledge, or much else about them."

"Right."

"And they'll need someone who can beat any nonsense out of them without causing a scene."

"Wherever can you get someone that immensely talented from?"

"Probably someone with a big ego. And this person will also need to keep the peace next time RTI and RTC comes around."

"This person's going to have a tough job ahead."

"They will."

"Can't be much harder than being an MI6 agent."

"I'm sorry, but I have to go send in a payment request to a bank. Nice talking to you. Hope to see you around longer." Hathur walked out, passing K-Unit as they entered for class. Wolf flicked his gaze from the sergeant to Alex.

The instructor gave a smirk that said everything.

* * *

><p>* Not based off the <em>real<em> commander, but I won't bother mentioning a name.

And so concludes my story. Did you like it? If so, please review. It means my spent time was worth while, and not wasted. Thanks for reading!

The sequel's up! Those Other Guys was posted all at once today (Jan. 2) because it's my anniversary to fanfiction. (I did not type all of them today, I had them written out.)


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